I make mistakes all the time.

I realized giving myself permission to make mistakes allows me to see them and feel them more fully. And enjoy the lather of them. This is nice. What mistakes? What predicated outcome do I have. What exactly is a mistake? A mistake is being wrong about something that you thought was going to happen.

A mistake is the linear mind predicating what is supposed to happen. It's a game or a horse race. It's a gamble. The adrenaline of the guess. I'm addicted to this adrenaline though I didn't know it.

From the times when I was younger when I'd say: "I'll sell my soul if I'm wrong and count that times i lost and won. And feel guilt and anxiety when I'd lose and vindicated when I'd win. It's still the same.

The thrill of being right, the low of being wrong. I do not wish to be right or wrong. I wish to be love.

So long to the drama.